[December 23, 2005]

CHRISTMAS SPOILER ALERT: Do not continue unless you do not want to be merry this Christmas! 
I had a dream just after I completed the Misa De Gallo. In my dream I killed someone. She was older than me way older than I am “old enough” like I used to say when someone asks me my age. She was lying and stealing from me and I caught her red-handed. Everyone was begging me that I spare her life. But then I said “It’s Christmas, this is my gift to everyone. She pleaded for her life. And then I shot her. She died on the spot. But she weirdly uttered just before her last breath, the words, “thank you very much.” She smiled just before she died. She was the president.
I know! I know! It’s Christmas, how morbid my dream is. Well at first I thought of using the word nightmare. But then again dreaming is better. And now with “morning glories” still glorifying my eyes and that dried up spit adorning my cheeks (YUCK! Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you that this will spoil your Christmas) a thought rushed into my “simbang-gabi” weary brain that I would like share with you.  
Last December 18 the ka-CS family had their outing at Pansol, Laguna. There were games, drinking and some bonding with friends. Well, you might have guessed that I was quite at home with the drinking. Hell, just as we arrived at the place maybe around 8:00am I was already looking for lights, not the kind that glows but more of the kind that makes someone blow. I mean lights of the San Miguel variety. And hell yeah! While we were preparing for the “ka-CS extra-challenge,” I was already getting bulletproofed. 
I was one of the competitors and was assigned the “bring-the-rock” across the pool challenge. The pool was like 20 feet long. And knowing that the lights (the SMB and the Marlboro kind) that have blissfully shone on me ever since I was curiously exploring everything since I was younger 20 years ago have taken its toll on me. I know that I only way I can win is by cheating (like GMA-Garci) I the games started and instead of jumping from the designated starting mark, I dived from the side near the center (Picture it the way you can)  But in all honesty, I never denied I cheated much as I never believed I won. For me, it’s just for laughs, “katuwaan lang kumbaga” and I never gagged anyone’s mouth from telling I cheated, worlds apart different from GMA gagging her cabinet and the AFP’s mouth from telling on her or lying she won and believing that lie and now she knows she won, well at least that is what her mind is telling her. Tell a lie long enough and you can even fool yourself.
Ka-CS extra challenge, there was dancing, singing, merry-making, we even built our own ka-CS-pool pyramid. And to make the long story short, it was fun, very fun. That fun didn’t quite last until around 3:00 or 4:00pm. We were supposed to leave at 6:00pm. While we were having a great time and someone important was singing, I saw him scolding someone. I asked the one beside me what happened. He said that those two “cool dudes” were being disrespectful. And while that someone was singing, the two “cool dudes” said “ilipat na nating yung kanta” and it didn’t happen only once but twice. 
I confronted the two “cool dudes.” I may have taken things a little step further. But that is how I am when it comes to anyone who disrespects what I respect. Unbeknownst to all that is how it works with my friends who I consider family. That is how it works with The Family. I saw Engle almost smother someone just because that “cooler dude” was disrespectful to me. I even saw my own brother bash someone with a padlock-laden kadena in the head just because that “coolest dude” was bad-mouthing me. I do the same for them. And I know you would also do the same for someone you hold in high regard, someone who you respect.
And now that unfortunate incident happened with the cool dudes. Others may think I had a drink too many that day. I might have forgotten the PBB dancing but I remember that incident crystal clear in my head. I am sorry to everyone but not to those two cool dudes. I am now justifying my action. But let’s just put it as where it is and how it should be. What’s been done has been done and what’s been said has been said. Respect begets respect. The next time maybe those two cool dudes can look up the meaning of respect in the Oxford and practice it. 
It’s Christmastime and though I’m not sorry for those two “cool dudes” still I offer my hand of reconciliation to them. Christmas and this is the gift. Anyway we’re the ka-CS family. Vito Corleone in The Godfather 1 made famous the title of this blog, try watching it, you’ll know why.